Filed under: Blogroll, Enlightenment, Happiness, Ideas, Letters, Life, Love, Madness, Moments, Poetry, Realness, Relief, Secrets, Thoughts, advice, realizations, weirdness | Tags: blog, blogs, esmeralda, Letters, Love, notebooks, notes, notes from my notebook, poems, sadness, the start of things, words
So I have this notebook where I write a lot of crap, and I guess I’ve been writing a lot of crap throughout the year. Here are some of them:
1. Numbers begin to appear next to algebraic figures. It makes no sense to you…
2. Winter Rush>
And I got high again.
It was winter, and the cold breeze just made you want to give it one more try.
Flakes of all different shapes emerged from the puffy clouds.
It was beautiful yet ironic.
I was standing in the middle of it all,
giving it a name; “Glass Wonderland”.
This rush only comes every five months.
My instincts advised to make the best of it;
so I did.
Oh, the glories!
The ways it made me feel,
waking up my most inner emotions.
The rush that went through my nose going straight to my brain,
traveling all of my body through my blood.
I could feel it all.
Everything just felt so acute.
The way my blood rushed through my veins.
How the pumping could be listened through my ears.
Everything was out of this world.
But the best part is yet to come.
I got shipped to another world.
Every…
3. I wish I could paint a new world,
one that wouldn’t be against me,
where things weren’t black or grey,
and fairness reigns.
4. There are times when things don’t go our way, and we stall for time to be able to take back all the things said and done, especially those we regret. But most of the time we can’t take it all back. Most of the things we say and do are permanent.
5. It’s a new day, so new words have to be born, and written. And today I wish to write to you and preach of love, my favorite subject.
It’s love, and the way we look at things, and the way those things make us feel. And the fact that there’s someone there, whether not physically next to you all the time, but their mind is constantly…
6. New days are wonderful, because it means we can have new experiences, or we can produce new words and say them out loud, and mean them with our hearts on our hands. And these words and experiences may change us or enhance the way we think or feel.
So this is why I’m writing to you, because I want to provide new experiences, and at least change your day a bit, because maybe with my words I won’t be able to change your thoughts, or inspire you in some way.
Also, given the fact that soon it’ll be that day in February filled with love and corniness, I wish to write to you and fill you up with thoughts of love, my favorite subject. And to finally confess the things I haven’t been able to say or show.
I know it’s not obvious, but you should know that it was due to your eyes…
7. Let’s figure it out.
Let’s see how things are meant to be once we open our eyes to the today,
and once we line things together,
and once those things work out.
Because the truth is,
we rarely know what we want,
and when we do,
we let it all go to waste.
8. My Julian was always lost in thoughts.
His mind always wandered to unknown places.
It was feelings he most frequently sought,
feelings of love and care in most cases.
While in search of those great feelings, he wrote,
wrote of his broad perceptions,
leaving blissful and inspiring notes
to the loving ladies he so mentions.
Nevertheless, he was broken in two,
forever trying to fairly decide.
Julian knew he loved her justly too,
but his heart and soul belongs to Lecide.
In the end, Julian was too aware,
and chose the right path to the perfect lair.
9. There are times when life hits you hard, and when the aftermath arrives you start thinking about the other times when your soul would be on a string, and about to fall, but there would be nothing you could do, except for mourning, screaming, crying, and letting your feelings out. And as you think…
10. This time it was the sun who woke up the feeling.
The outstanding rays shone on the exact right spot and the heat arose the emotions.
It wasn’t planned.
I don’t believe anyone,
not even destiny,
had the idea that this would ever take place.
But it did.
The girl didn’t seek; at least not in that direction.
But she found.
11. Hello.
I don’t know want to write
and if I do, it’ll all be a lie.
Because I’m numb
and I don’t feel anything to
be writing about it.
Filed under: Blogroll, Happiness, Life, Love, Moments, Poetry, Realness, Relief, Thoughts, weirdness | Tags: blog, body, esmeralda, great, i should be lost without you, jon, jonathan d beale, journeys, Love, love poems, soul, the end, the end of her journey, words, words that we love
Most picture the end as something that must come,
something sad and anxious,
something that souls don’t wish to come into contact with.
But for her it was completely the opposite.
The end was what she sought for most of the time,
and it was finally here.
The end of her journey was called Jon.
He was a brawny guy with cerulean eyes, as artists would say.
He had a tough character that would only melt at the sight of her,
with the biggest heart a man could carry.
And he entered her life by coincidence,
just happened to pass by.
But the passerby turned out to be the end,
and the end brought a lot of love and compassion.
And all of a sudden she was overwhelmed with feelings of fear and joy.
She was scared he would leave,
but she was too happy for having found the one.
And now he stood before her,
smiling away,
gazing deep inside the pools in her eyes,
waiting.
And as she stood right in front of him,
and as the static electricity pleaded for her to touch his body,
she immediately blurted out these words:
I should be lost without you
And with this, his smile faded,
and his eyes grew wide and full of joy,
speaking the many wonders his lips wouldn’t let him.
And so her lips parted wide, smiling away the smile she never thought she could,
holding onto his face gently,
caressing his soul,
and letting their lips engage into a wondrous occurrence.
For the first time the end had proved to be a great thing.
And for the first time the end turned out to be just the beginning.
Filed under: Blogroll, Life, Love, Moments, Poetry, Realness, Thoughts, weirdness | Tags: blog, cerulean eyes, esmeralda, forever, hope, i love you, i miss you, jon, jonathan d beale, Love, love poems, my forever, today, true love, words
Today I saw myself without you.
Today I pictured a life lacking you.
No forever,
no love,
no cerulean eyes,
no brawny figure,
no tough character,
no amazing feeling,
no fair decisions.
And truth be told:
I didn’t like it.
I’m sorry. I am.
But it’s not possible anymore.
My heart and soul got used to you,
and thinking of you not being there in my near future,
trying to fathom that you won’t be a part of it all…
It just isn’t possible.
I’m not strong enough to let you go.
I’m not strong enough to even imagine your presence disappearing from beside me.
I don’t think you know the magnitude anymore;
don’t think you’re able to decode it.
you are my forever
That’s all I can say.
Now all I can do is hope…
Hope that through those beautiful, blue-sky eyes you’re able to grasp the fact that my love for you is too strong, and that I’ll never let go…
I’ll always be there, even after life itself ceases away.
I’ll be there for every high and low,
every good and bad,
every tear,
every smile,
every pain,
every sorrow,
every joy,
and every love.
I’ll always be there, if you allow it.
Because I want you to be my Jon.
Because I want to live the life and love I know we’re capable of.
Because it’s you, my Jon, it’s you.
I miss you.
Filed under: Happiness, Innocence, Life, Love, Poetry, Realness, Thoughts, weirdness | Tags: beale, blog, cerulean, cerulean eyes, esmeralda, forever, jon, jonathan d beale, Love, manhood, once upon a day, once upon a time, passion, true love, words
Once upon a day, you came along…
And your brawny body shrieked of manhood,
while your fond soul squealed of passion.
And your cerulean-colored eyes quietly told a story of a man lost between the paths of love and virtue, trying to find his other half miles and miles away from him.
But as the distance grew thin, your stereotypical yet ironic ways began to fade away.
And then there was just you.
And then you knocked on my lifeless door,
ever so lightly,
and I opened up the portal to my heart.
And you took the freedom to sit at the edge of my bed,
while I sat exactly three feet away on that wooden chair,
the one where I spent hours contemplating the thought of you,
and you sighed.
And I asked, “Are you here?”
Because I felt you so far away.
But you answered, “Forever.”
And then, with a smile in my eyes, I knew….
Because as you spoke the one word, you stood up from my bed.
And as you cautiously walked towards me,
I felt my heart battling with my insides,
just trying to exit my body…
Just trying to unite with yours.
And as our lips touched,
and your strong hands caressed the sides of my face,
I realized nothing had ever felt this wondrous,
because nothing had ever managed to fill me up with such euphoria as this breath-taking experience, literally.
But then we both realized this experience was getting to me,
as I was slowly fainting inside your arms.
Yet you held me up gently just in time,
whispering into my neck with a worrisome voice, “You promised forever.”
And as I felt your breath against my neck,
and your words reach my ears,
I whispered back with a faded, yet genuine, smile, “And forever it’ll be.”
And it was forever,
because the man your eyes preached about was you.
And the other half miles and miles away was me.
And now we are here.
And it is forever…
Filed under: Happiness, Life, Love, Realness, Secrets, Thoughts, weirdness | Tags: blog, esmeralda, Love, post secret, postsecrets, Secrets, the words we love, topic of love
So I found some postsecret secrets on youtube. These were the ones I loved pertaining the topic LOVE.
1. “Sometimes I lie about the time in the morning so she’ll stay next to me a little longer.”
2. “I wish I knew how to fall out of love.”
3. “I thought all the words I wrote for you would be enough. They weren’t.”
4. “There is no time I feel more alive than when my heart is breaking.”
5. “I would do absolutely anything in the whole world if I thought it would make her happy.”
6. “I’m happy enough, but I regret that some 40 years ago, I left you, the love of my life, slip through my fingers…”
7. “I can’t wait until I’m OLD and WRINKLY with laugh lines… then everyone will know how HAPPY you’ve made me.”
8. “She REALLY loves you. Don’t waste it like I did.”
9. “It’s not her race. It’s not a trend. It’s not a fetish. It’s not her culture. I’m with her because I love her.”
10. “Be mine. Nothing more, nothing less.”
11. “This is the label from the ladder I’m stealing from work so I can climb up to your window and tell you how much I love you.”
12. “I no longer know where my life is heading, but I don’t care, as long as she’s riding shotgun.”
13. “I love you. That’s my secret. No hearts. No pretty drawings. No poems or cryptic messages. I LOVE YOU.”
14. “I could love you… I could.”
15. “I secretly hope that today is the day you will send me flowers for no reason.”
16. “In 8th grade, I made up a boyfriend to feel wanted… I’m 28… And I STILL wonder how he’s doing.”
17. “Someone needs to know I lover her. Thank you, Frank.”
18. “I want it to rain the day I get married.”
19. “I’m seventy years old. I’m happily married to a lovely and charming woman, have three wonderful children, a nice home, and lots of activities. I’m very happy. Thomas Wolfe once said, ‘You can’t go home again’. Perhaps not, but if there was a knock on the door tomorrow and it was the girl I dated when I was at school in New York I would, without hesitation, walk out with her with never a backward glance.”
20. “I want to leave him, but I’m too in love with the fucker.”
21. “5 years later I still wonder why we didn’t kiss in the park that night. WE SHOULD HAVE.”
22. “I lied. I want her to save me.”
23. I am NOT scared to fight the insurgents in Iraq. I AM scared you won’t be here when I come home 365 days later.”
24. “Since the day I met you 3 months ago, I have written 39 poems, 13 short stories, and COUNTLESS free writes. Every single one has been for you.”
25. “‘What are you doing?’ ‘Spinning counterclockwise. Each turn robs the planet of angular momentum, slowing its spin the tiniest bit, lengthening the night, pushing back the dawn, giving me a little more time here WITH YOU.’”
26. “I didn’t enlist to ‘escape’ you. I enlisted to pay for our wedding. Will you marry me?”
27. “None of the artwork made sense, but being there with you did.”
28. “After 29 years of marriage, my wife finally loves me.”
29. “I think I deserve a better story than ‘we met on Match.com’.”
30. “I’m still in love with whom you used to be.”
