my persons, my words.

Today I saw myself without you.

Today I pictured a life lacking you.

No forever,
no love,
no cerulean eyes,
no brawny figure,
no tough character,
no amazing feeling,
no fair decisions.

And truth be told:

I didn’t like it.

I’m sorry. I am.

But it’s not possible anymore.

My heart and soul got used to you,
and thinking of you not being there in my near future,
trying to fathom that you won’t be a part of it all…
It just isn’t possible.

I’m not strong enough to let you go.

I’m not strong enough to even imagine your presence disappearing from beside me.

I don’t think you know the magnitude anymore;
don’t think you’re able to decode it.
you are my forever

That’s all I can say.
Now all I can do is hope…
Hope that through those beautiful, blue-sky eyes you’re able to grasp the fact that my love for you is too strong, and that I’ll never let go…

I’ll always be there, even after life itself ceases away.

I’ll be there for every high and low,
every good and bad,
every tear,
every smile,
every pain,
every sorrow,
every joy,
and every love.

I’ll always be there, if you allow it.

Because I want you to be my Jon.
Because I want to live the life and love I know we’re capable of.
Because it’s you, my Jon, it’s you.

I miss you.