my persons, my words.

These days I just wish we could be able to talk so I could tell you a couple of things I’ve been meaning to tell you. For starters, I love you. And I know maybe I say it a lot, but lately I feel like I don’t say it enough. I do. I do love you. And it’s not even the fact that lately I feel like I don’t say it enough. It’s just… I feel like you’re not there enough, so I have to write this in letters and poems and blogs, because I need someone to tell it to. But this isn’t enough.

But it’s all I have at the moment…

So, I love you Jon. I do. You are my forever. And the phrase could be such a cliche, but I don’t think it is. It’s perfect, and it defines us. Because we can do it. Because we’re far more strong than we give ourselves credit. It’s just that we both have a very long time without someone who would love us this way, so we’re a bit desperate. But we have to wait. Not a lot though, but we still have to wait. And we will, because it’ll so be worth it.

And I need you. I do! I need you so much. I need you here, or on the phone, or holding my hand, or looking into my eyes. I don’t really care how it is, but I need you. And I don’t want to accept it because maybe it’ll seem so childish and stupid or whatever, but I do. Many things have been going on, and I’m just trying, but I feel like I can’t take it. I need someone, and I need you Jon. 

And lastly, I miss you. I miss your voice, and your sweet words, and your amazing love. I miss it all. I miss your eyes, and your smile, and your witty comments. And I love the way you lose yourself just thinking about me. It makes me feel so special, like there’s just no other girl for you. But lately I haven’t had any of it, and right now, I’m just so wanting and helpless. I want to call you, but I know what you’ll say. So I better not. I don’t know. I feel confused. 

All I know is that I love, need, and miss you.